‘Could they not slow down and use… Irish for everyone? – cruinniú Chomhairle Lucht Féachana TG4

CATHAOIRLEACH: Fáilte, fáilte chuile dhuine. Neart le plé. An clúdach a rinne an stáisiún ar an mBuiséad, go háirithe. Cúrsaí spóirt, freisin.

BÉARLÓIR: Wait. Where’s the concurrent translation?

COMHALTA 1: (Sioscadh) Níl aon concurrent translation againn….we don’t have it.

BÉARLÓIR: Well unless it’s on the agenda, chair, we need to add it to AOB? ‘Must have concurrent translation!’ The Doyle voted for this

CATHAOIRLEACH: Leanaimis orainn mar sin. Clúdach Buiséid. Shíl mise go raibh an clúdach cuimsitheach go maith. Neart saineolais. Anailís ar na ceisteanna móra ar fad. Clúdach mion ar cheist na Gaeilge agus na Gaeltachta agus…

BÉARLÓIR: Sorry! Wait. Wait, just a moment. What’s ‘sanolass’… that word you said there? I feel my Irish is mostly coming back to me, you know? It’s amazing how much you pick up when you’re around Gaeilgeoirs, isn’t it? But that word – sanolass? – sorry I didn’t fully catch that…

COMHALTA 2: Lean ar aghaidh! Tá neart le plé againn.

COMHALTA 3: Sea, tá práinn leis seo – caithfidh muid na ceisteanna seo a phlé go mion mar chomhairle agus ár dtuarascáil a réiteach don Bhord. Nach bhfuil cruinniú eagraithe don Aoine?

BÉARLÓIR: Look, we really need to enhance our communication as a council. We’re getting nowhere.

COMHALTA 3: Tusa atá ag moilliú rudaí.

BÉARLÓIR: The Doyle voted for this.

CATHAOIRLEACH: Bogaimis ar aghaidh. Tá athbhreithniú le déanamh ar an nuacht le seachtain.

COMHALTA 1 (Sioscadh leis an mBéarlóir) We’re reviewing news programming in the past week now.

BÉARLÓIR: Wait there, Chair. Bit of a problem. I don’t watch it.

CATHAOIRLEACH: Cén fáth?

BÉARLÓIR: Yes! I know that one, cén fáth – why? Because I don’t understand it. They speak way too fast. Could we not ask them to slow down and use simpler language. Irish for everyone, like?

COMHALTA 3: Cén chaoi a ndéanfaidh sé athbhreithniú mura bhfuil rudaí feicthe aige? Do you watch any nuacht?

BÉARLÓIR: In Irish? Well, I used to a bit at the start, when my daughter started at the Gaelscoil. But it’s too hard. Irish is too hard to learn. I have more French, would you believe? You should see how many French words I know on Duolingo.

CATHAOIRLEACH: Cuir uait an fón. I gcead duit…Ní féidir athbhreithniú a dhéanamh ar rudaí nach mbíonn tú ag féachaint orthu. Comhairle lucht féachana é seo, tar éis an tsaoil. How can you function in this role if you don’t watch the channel’s output?

BÉARLÓIR: I do watch it. I like the Westerns and sport – well, I turn down the volume and watch with the local radio commentary. No offence.

COMHALTA 1: An bhfuil muid ag feidhmiú i nGaeilge nó i mBéarla anois, a Chathaoirligh? I gcead duit… Tá mé ag tógáil clainne le Gaeilge. Tá TG4 tábhachtach dom agus do mo phobal sa nGaeltacht. B’fhearr liom feidhmiú trí Ghaeilge.

BÉARLÓIR: Typical elitism. Tá tusa better get used to this. I’m a minority, not being served by you guys in your ivory towers here. Tá mo iníon in a Gaelscoil. Tá sí ag féachaint freisin, as well as you.

COMHALTA 3: Seol d’iníon chuig an gcruinniú mar sin!

COMHALTA 5: Tá m’iníon-sa i nGaelscoil freisin. Agus níl focal Gaeilge ag m’fhear céile. Agus pléann muid TG4 sa mbaile – tuigim a dhearcadh.

COMHALTA 4: Minority? An ndúirt sé gur mionlach é?

BÉARLÓIR: We need to continue our meeting. Focus…

CATHAOIRLEACH: Cén chaoi? How?

BÉARLÓIR: Invest in concurrent translation services for me. Or b’fhéidir we just, how do you say, úsáid English? We all speak English in fairness?

CATHAOIRLEACH: Ach Gaeilge an teanga oibre anseo.

BÉARLÓIR: Typical! Discriminating against the minority at the table! And that stops here today, Chair, with respect.